**I read this open letter a few years back and it recently crossed my desk again. So if you don’t go to church and are reading this, I’m curious to hear your thoughts. If you do go to church and are reading this, I’m curious to hear your thoughts, too.**
Don’t worry you won’t offend me I just would love to hear some honest opinions**
Dear church people,
I recently attended your church. I don’t know why I decided to get up early on a Sunday morning and I’m not sure why exactly I chose this church, but nonetheless, I went. I guess it was because I overheard someone talking about this man named Jesus and he seemed really edgy and from what I gathered, he seemed like a rebel like me. And then I heard that somehow he can help me get rid of all of this junk that is messing up my life. I’m not sure what you church people call it..i guess its “sin” or something. So anyways, yeah, I was compelled by what I overheard, and I didn’t quite hear everything that guy was saying, but he was telling the other person to check out their church. I didn’t catch what church name it was, so I wound up here.
But can I just say, I really hate church. I do. I mean, that Jesus guy sounded really intersting, but I just can’t do the church thing. The building looks nice and all, but when I got inside, I felt like a total outcast. People were just staring at me. I guess you guys don’t do lip rings and punk hair very often.
And those church program things, whatever you call them, they have a cool picture on the front…i guess…and your program thing makes me think that obviously you guys have lots to do around here….but how come I never see you guys around in my neighborhood? My neighbors just had a giant fight and the wife threw all of the husbands stuff out on the front lawn and then she drove off. I helped that guy pick up all of that stuff and we put a few beers back…i think he was trying to forget what happened. We could’ve used some extra help picking that stuff up. Where were you? And I always talk to that lady sitting outside my work building who is asking for food for her kids. Sometimes I try to get some MickeyD’s breakfast for them. Is that something you guys would be interested in helping with?
But anyways, I’m getting off track. So I go in and sit down and some guy mumbles to his wife about me sitting in their seat. I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know who the guy was, but if you know who it is, can you tell them I’m sorry. I really didn’t know. I didn’t see a name tag or anything…did I miss it on the chair somewhere? I’m really sorry, again.
And that music…well, I will say that the guitarist was totally killer and the drums were sweet. I didn’t really know what you guys were all singingabout, I didnt know those songs…but I did see that Jesus guys name a few times, so i tried paying attention. That leader seemed pretty pumped up and trying to get everyone to clap…but I think those people around me were bored with your songs. I dont know them, though, so maybe thats how you’re supposed to respond. Maybe there are rules I don’t know about. Im sure there are. I know that when Im at a concert and im really pumped up about the lyrics, i can’t contain myself. but i guess it is church..so..maybe thats why you stand so still and just stare at those jumbotrons with the words on it.
The speaker dude wasn’t too bad. He seemed like he really believed what he was talkin about. I heard that Jesus guys name again…i’m really curious about him. Do you know who I’m talkin about? Jesus somethin. I need to find out about that guy..do you know where I could find more out? Iknow the speaker guy could help me…he did say something about coming up front if I wanted to know more about Jesus…but no one else went up there..so i’m totally not going up there. are you kidding? those people were all looking around like they were gonna go attack the first person who stood up or somethin. Freaky.
Sorry, but i was just really bored, over all. I’ve gotta know more about this Jesus guy. I didn’t wanna go bug that speaker guy cuz there was a ton of people around him, so I just decided to leave. As I was walking out, I heard some ladies pointing at another lady and they were sayin some pretty rude things. Dude, if church is a place full of clicks and gossip and high school drama, I’m FOR SURE in the wrong place.
All this to say, I guess I’m sure there’s somethin I’m missin…there’s probably somethin I didn’t read somewhere…but I was really just hopin to find out about that Jesus guy. But, sorry, I just don’t do long boring program things around a bunch of people that stare at me and bash their so-called friends.
Maybe that lady asking for food for her kids outside of my work building knows about that Jesus guy. Yeah. Maybe I’ll go ask her tomorrow.
Sorry church people, I just can’t do that church thing you guys do. But hey, if thats your thing, more power to ya.”
Sincerely,
The guy/girl who doesn’t go to church
The letter is spot on from my experiences. A lot of judging and staring and standing around looking bored and gossiping and bad-mouthing and…. Plus it seems as though the people that do actually go up to the front and then get baptized never come again after their baptism. They wanted attention and then when it was over there was no reason for them to come back. That is part of the reason that I have never joined the church I have been attending for 8 years.
Dub,
Thank you so much for your comment. I’m [absolutely] sure that you are not the only person that feels the same way. I have a question for you though. Could you clarify why you haven’t joined your church? The logic doesn’t seem to make sense (IMO). What I read is that you won’t join because you don’t want to be like the other people who solely do a religious activity and then leave, never to return. Would this be right? Again, thank you.
I dont agree with the stances my church takes on many issues. The previous pastor would routinely make comments, or fail to make comments, that would completely fill me with rage because it was completely opposite from what I think a biblical person should be doing.
There is a new pastor now and he has only twice said things that I did not agree with, but he hasnt made me mad. But it still remains that the people in the church are the same and they do not fit my vision of a follower of Christ.
As for being like the other people, I am not afraid that I will stop attending. I just dont want to stand up and do a hollow affirmation like everyone else. I was baptized as a baby, and went through confirmation as a teen. Confirmation requires study and commitment. I dont see the point in doing it again and putting myself on display in a ceremony that has no equity.
Our church is now inhabitants of networkers. Those people who should be discipling people are now focus on networking instead of displeship.
Ha! Try being Celibate. The Church worships and idolizes marriage. If you’re not married with five kids that are home schooled you’re looked down on as a non-Christian.
I’ve never felt more alone, unloved, and uncared for than when I’m at church.
Got to say I agree with most of that letter. I count myself Christian but HATE going to church. Why does it have to always be about how we or at least the rest of the world are going to hell? Or about how much money the church needs for its roof, puppet program, furnace bill? And about that puppet program? And youth group? And the drum set? Those things are not going to attract youth. Young people see through them like the patronizing things they are. Instead, speak intelligently about the gospels. And by intelligently, I don’t mean by taking things out of context or reading it literally so as to serve whatever pet project you serve. Instead, tell us what it MEANS, which is to recognize that the Bible was written allegorically, which Jesus even announces at one point, just in case you need a literal reason to do this.
Do you mind if I ask what part of the letter yo disagreed with?
I had the impression that the letter writer liked the drums. I hate drums at church–trying too hard. (Maybe this sounded too adamant? I do go to church fairly regularly, but leave too many times annoyed rather than inspired or at peace. I’m sure that probably has a lot to do with me and less to do with church. And I think I’ve just talked myself out of my rant :))
Jon,
Interesting letter. I have attended church my whole life. As a remember back I can think of countless times where I have seen people bashed behind there backs, to include myself. Seems like the same things happened to Christ from the so-called religious elite of the day (Pharisees). I am looking at what religion as a whole has become self-serving multi-functional entertainment circus. Jesus message was simple LOVE!! I have to agree with the writer on many points. What has the Church become? Why are we doing what we do? We are called to Love one another. Do we do that or are we just a bunch of busy bodies? It is easy standing on the inside looking outward to say we are doing a good job, but from the outside looking in I think the letter speaks for itself. WE are failing miserably.
All that being said we should continue to go. You can’t change what you don’t participate in. I want Christ to develop in my heart, and for me myself to emulate Jesus. So others may come to know him thru me. We can do nothing with the self serving, those are to be left up to Christ. But a single person approaching a visitor can change their entire perception. We have to become that one person, like Christ, to reach into their life and show them the love and peace in Christ.
I am 100% a full believer in Jesus Christ. I believe that he rose from the dead and is LIVING today. But I completely agree with this letter. I attend church every Sunday (I know that going to church does NOT make you a christian, it’s all about relationship) I have to force myself to go. I HATE going. No one ever speaks to me, and I constantly see where all the girls are constantly hanging out and such. I do serve in the church so it’s not like they never have opportunities to include me. I always tell myself that it is partly my fault too, because I am very shy and I don’t make much of an attempt to socialize either. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the devil in my case. I’m starting to learn to just trust in God. It’s nothing about me. I shouldn’t go to church and expect to receive anything. We go because we are going to meet with Him, and because it pleases him. We worship even when we don’t want to because it’s pleasing to God. I have been continuously been praying about my situation and leaving this church for over a year now. Sometimes I feel like God is nowhere near to be found. But we know that God is always with us because He lives in us. We just have to be obedient. Hang in there! This is not our home, so it’s no surprise it doesn’t feel too great all the time.
King David said blessed are they who sit not in the seat of the scornful and somewhere else not to sit in the congregation of the dead
I was raised in church and I’m still at it…even though I hate it sometimes. Ironically, that letter is spot on when it comes to that Jesus guy. It’s not always easy to find a church that actually talks much about Jesus. There’s no shortage of pop psychology and politics, but the gospel’s absent. I don’ t believe Jesus ever intended for ‘the church’ to be a tax free business. In the past eight months I’ve been looking for a new church after a move to a new state. I’ve heard sermons about homosexuality, abortion, and saving the whales, not as many as I’d like about God or living your faith. I really have an issue with the doctrine that the practice of tithing is for today, since tithing is never mentioned in the New Testament. There are good churches out there but there are no perfect churches. There are also churches that exist solely to separate a fool from his money. Any yahoo can start a church, but there are a lot of sincere men of God out there as well who really have a heart for God’s flock. My advice is to read your bible, pray, and hold on to your wallet until you know you’re in the right place. That’s my plan.
I hate church because its a never ending class of being fed the word of God that we have to pay with our offerings or tithe… Which the. Church never accounts for as it is for widows and orphans. I hate church because we are made to believe that we have come to the presence of God as if God is impressed by our praise songs that are a copyright of someone else’s tunes and our worship songs… Plus birthday parties..that are done in the church almost every Sunday. I hate church because those who don’t attend Sunday religious meetings are considered as ” unbelievers” just coz they don’t submit to a pastor who mostly talks about prosperity and his wife.
You made a point Ruth God can come into our presence when we are alone and going through difficult times God can strengthen us anytime and heal us I go to church if i feel led to other than that sorry to say i do not like going to church, I am a Christian and not going to church or going to every Sunday doesn’t change the coarse of Gods will and plan for you, sometimes when I do go to church I feel as though I got brownie points for going or it is like ok God I went are things going to be different so I do not go every week I am just not comfortable with the whole church setting and find people to busy or I’m just not comfortable, I talk to others outside the church about faith in God and about trusting God and give material things when I have it to others. A Christian is a Christian weather they go to church or not.
I stopped liking going to church about 7-9 years ago, i usually feel better when i dont go, I will go if I feel the tug on my heart by God and when I do go I usually wait until all the singing is done sorry but I just do not like to sing and to hear all the 25 minutes of singing and don’t concentrate of the sermon and can’t wait until the service is over so I can go home so why go sometimes I think I am going to save face just so others can see that I was there, im not comfortable going to church and I just dont like it plain and simple I still am a christian and will share my faith in God and witness to others if needed and be a giver of material things if I have something that someone else needs and I have it to give, love is giving, you dont have to go to church to be a christian the only think I can say about if the Lord tugs on my heart to go to a service then thats when I need to go but every Saturday night I go through this thing am I going to go I am not envolved in any ministry at church, my loving and giving are alot mainly people on the outside and this is where God needs the people helping on the outside, i hope this helps and let the Lord be the one to lead you.
The problem with church is it is full of sinners. Going to a building of any kind and expecting it to be a perfect Place with everyone doing exactly what they should is a great burden to bear. The court house in my city is probably the most boring Place I’ve been to but I don’t expect it to be sufficient because I know people that work their are just trying to do their jobs. However, I don’t affiliate with any church. I did once due to the fact I was offered a counseling position but now no. Church is hard for my husband and I because people are afraid of our passion and strong views on scripture. We are often seen as intolerant and not open minded enough to be Christians. So instead we hang with those who aren’t. They seem to think we are an anomially because we don’t judge them. My best friend right now is a unwed single mom who has a three year old and is pregnant with her second kid who’s father recently died in car crash. I would rather be by her side loving and being her friend then in a bible study any day because she loves me for who I am and vice versa. I cannot stand how little the church looks like less of a loving body and more like an institution. What happened to just being saved people who love Jesus and the bible? Plus after living in Kuwait I can tell you that being part of a church does not win anyone to the Lord. Only being like Christ does.
If the church is a place for sinners as you say then it is clear no one is being saved FROM their sins. And if that is the case which obviously it is by what you say, maybe you’re in good company, because if they were saints as the first churches were after Jesus was raised from the dead you would be made to feel very uncomfortable
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Going to church is like going to a pep rally every week but never getting to actually attend the big game. After a few years of going, I looked around, thought, “This is it?” and started asking questions of my church leaders and fellows. I was very disappointed with the lack of passion, direction, action, or any real presence of courage.
Sunday mornings were the worst – people looking at me funny because I didn’t dress like them, talk like them, sing or clap like them…and forget bringing a friend, unless that friend happens to like the ‘all eyes on me’ feeling you get when those creepy, fake-looking people stare at you like that.
My attendance slowed and I eventually stopped going altogether because, long story short, I came hungry and left hungry, so why keep attending? (Selfish?) I’ve been waiting since then for some major crisis to come along and wake us up, but that seems like a pretty weak plan. Still, beats going to church, though…
Josh,
Thank you so much for you comments, they are insightful. Could you clarify something for me? You said, “I came hungry and left hungry” could you help me understand what you mean by this?
Additionally, could you help me understand your definition of church? Finally, would you consider yourself a Christ follower before? Still?
Sorry, I know this is a lot but I’m just a bit curious.
Shalom
The letter does not sound authentic. Is it an actual letter? Or was it only a way for you to ask for feedback?
I can say that I was faithful in Church all of my life…very active…until the last year or so. My husband and I adopted our son and a few years later, I lost my mom. On both occasions, and in between, I have had more hurtful, intrusive, and insensitive things said and done to me by “church people” than I can count. I know all too well that the explanation for such things begins by blaming the victim and moves on to justification of the behavior and ends with it being the victim’s fault. I’ve seen it play out for 30 years. My father was a leader in our Church all of my life.
After I lost my mom I decided that I would not invite more pain into my life than I was already enduring so I decided not to attend church services until I felt stronger. Yes, I feel like I have to be strong so that I can somewhat endure church.
I find my strength in God thru daily meditation, prayer and study and thru regularly connecting with others who do the same. I also exercise my beliefs by trying to help others, however, I do not believe in listing the things I do. It is a gift and an honor to me that God places people and opportunities in my path so that I can be of service to HIM. Oddly enough, most all of them come with a story of being badly hurt by those in churches. It makes my heart sad because for most of my life, my church WAS my life, and I loved it dearly.
I guess sad is the word that best expresses my feelings toward church these days. It is sad that an institution designed to be the ultimate conduit for the expression of God’s love and healing has become the entity doing so much of the hurting.
I’m 52 years old now and I can say the only place where I have felt self conscience, out of place, agitated, offended, and confused at the same time are at a church, any church take your pick. My mom had me on the front pew for the first 18 years of my life and I vowed to myself when I have kids they would not step foot in any of these sewers of hypocracy unless it was their choice and they haven’t. We do speak of God, bless our food, and talk with each other about the teachings of Christ and what they mean to us in this time. How we can help each other and help others in our own way. We do not need a place to make business deals, compare clothing, or look down our noses at those we we think don’t belong.
It took awhile for me to figure out I don’t belong and I’m OK with that.
Now I just have to figure out how to keep you from knocking on my front door.
I lost my faith and have tried many times to get it back in the past few years. My pastor was of some help when I reached out to him. In all honesty the church has never reached out to me. They Know who I am and they knew I was struggling. In my opinion, most church people try and keep up an act. It is a phony act. Every one is human and they have their own struggles and most of the time are not willing to step outside of their comfort zone to help others. Even you are not responding to all the feed back that you are getting. I am still interested in Jesus but find no solace or reason in going back to church. The Church just preaches to the choir. And, didnt the apostle Paul tell believers to interact with other believers. It seems that the church loves Paul but are not that interested in Jesus.
While the “letter” is contrived, it gets its point across with sarcasm.
Here’s my problem with attending a church: salvation is a belief. Every church I’ve attended since I was a child has said that salvation is strictly your belief that Jesus died for your sins and was resurrected. End of story. Yet every church I’ve attended had their additions: you have to believe AND read your Bible. Believe AND attend Wednesday night small groups. Believe AND… The list goes on. I got tired of being guilted into “doing” more to be a “better Christian.”
I believe. Sometimes my belief leads me to talk to others about my belief. Sometimes it gets me to crack open the Bible. But it sure doesn’t make me want to go to church. My belief in Jesus actually makes me tired of church. I’d rather feed the homeless on Sundays, not because I think I have to, but because I want to. I don’t see myself ever enjoying church. It’s a chore that I get guilted into and I’m done with all that. I’ll continue to believe in Jesus and show it in my own way that doesn’t involve church.
It’s entirely to do with the church.
Instead of providing spieitual nourishment, they all do the same thing: preach false docttines, try to look good, make a bunch of empty prayer requests, ask for money and only care about their own interests while pretending to care about the Kingdom.
I hate going to church; yet, I know the gospel is true.church is full of plastic people with maybe .1 or 2 great people. They lust for prosperity. They make fun of Joel olstein(probably takes advantage of people) . they are the same. The inside of their cup is dirty. They dress up all pretty and build terrible systems of grossness. The poor and the outcast have no place and neither does giving the gospel its too scary. Rich people get the best seats at the table and everyone wants the seat next to them. They think that a poor person is poor because they are stupid and lazy. I come from poverty and have made a lot of progress. How many times would they sit with me and help me with a Resume or fill out an application? Let me give you a clue, it’s an integer between -1 and 1. They really aren’t Jesus’s. They are building altars to their many gods and Jesus is not In their beautiful walls and their iffy productions. We have been fooled a church building is often just a temple to a heathen God. A preacher with a fancy education is often just a religious leader that was made two times a child of hell as his teacher and twice as decietful. The weeds grow together with the wheat. This isn’t just inside one church building it’s refirmed, arminian, non denom, baptist, Pentecostal and so on… If love doesn’t mark a church it’s a piece of garbage at best. They can redefine love and make it fit their nonsense but God is not a fool. Most of the time all those church buildings and fake people do is make Jesus look bad. Give me a bunch of sinners who give a **** about people and maybe I’ll trust that they are Jesus’s people. Just like they preach: Depart from me I never knew you. On another note, dont give up on Almighty God He really is good. They are not a reflection of Him. I’ll never understand suffering and the state of things. All we can do is first repent and trust, and second go find an outcast or someone who needs some help and love them. They do not define who Jesus is the true church does. I’ll probably end up back in a church and they will pretend like I’m not there. They will tip toe around be because I am not like them. I am not there for them.I week be there first for God and second for the struggling single mom who has nothing but contempt. For the messed up guy who had nothing and now all there is is suffering. For the disgusting and the broken that is who I give a damn about.
I go to a church that call themselves “Multicultural”, and I am a “Hispanic”. It’s been the worse experience I’ve ever had… and Im so hurt I cant see Jesus anymore. I have never felt more segregated. Those people need to be less white and more christian.
Amen!! Why do I always feel like I’m in danger of losing my salvation every week?
I’ve always said, “I’m alright with Jesus. It’s religion I can’t stand” That said, I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, and right about now, I can hear the OH MY’s and the NO WONDER’s. No problem…I’ve said to myself on many occasions. I was actually baptized a Catholic, so I DID talk to a priest at one point about going back. But whenever I’ve tried (which was 3 times as I recall) I felt creepy and even though I thought I was dressed nicely, some women were looking at me in a judgy kind of way. OK, so this is a fashion thing. Sorry I did not know that. I tried another church and I gotta say they were really nice. They even had this ceremony one Sunday where we put a loved one’s name on a balloon who was battling or who had died of AIDS. And we let them go. It was really a beautiful thing. They also feed the homeless once a week and invite them to Sunday services, when there is always food afterwards. Sometimes I wish I could go there just to hang out with some of these people, because they really are sincere and beautiful people. Maybe it’s that controlling JW environment that killed my chances for ever finding a home in a church. I’ve even explored other belief systems, because I think they all have something good to say. For the most part, I just find organized religion to be all the same, and I don’t like what I see most of the time.
I go to church to keep my wife happy and marriage together.
I absolutely hate church and have despised religion more since she became a holy roller last year.
They always want money. The preacher has a Swimming pool he’s got to pay for. Yep.
I hate church.
OH MY GOD SAAAAME
PLUUUS I NEVER HAVE LIKE CHURCH. I NEVER HAVE BELIEVED IN GOD OR JESUS OR ANYTHING RELIGION.
When I first went to church, I thought that the deacons were similar to body guards in a bar. I was real closed off about my past because I thought they would haul me out of there as soon as they heard about the things that I had done. However, the pastor said several sermons about a bunch of screw-ups in the Bible that God forgave. I started to think that, if God not only accepted them and used them in His service, then maybe He could accept me too. The story that sealed the deal was the story of the Samaritan woman. I have my heart to God soon after that and I have been living for him since.
I say all that to illustrate the fact that broken people come to church, the staff included. What may help is to come to church just solely for a moment between you and God, with the understanding that the guy hoarding a seat may be hurting or seeking more than you are, or just as much as you are, depending on the circumstances. God loves them just as he loves you, not because everyone involved has it all together, but just because God is love. And he can use a greedy, selfish person, no matter if it is his or her first day there or his or her 100th or so day there.
God uses the weak things of this world to shame the wise. “Come, all you who are weary and heavy-laiden, and I will give you rest.” For God so loved the world that he gave up his one and only son, so that whoever believes in him will not die, but will live forever.
I pray that you and I will both come to learn one day how much He truly loves us. In Jesus’ name.
Spirit and matter are not separate.
I looked up “Why I hate church” and this the first thing that popped up. So I thought why not read this so I did and like that’s super close to when I went to church, then again I was a kid. It was having the pasture other people there say that black people are evil and that you’ll only be saved if you believe in God. Even at that time I was like damn these people are rude. They were also extremely homophobic and transphobic so like as a trans man just starting to try and figure themselves out when they were scared little person who was female being told that if you dressed and acted a certain way you would not be loved by their higher power.
So like I was in fifth or 6th grade when I stopped going and the reason I stopped going was because I was working on a project and was super focused on it and nobody could get through to me so I was just left at home with Mom. But like as soon as I stopped going. I started to figure out who I actually was so like you can go church if you want to but in my experience it sucked. I’m just a pansexual man who was told that I was a female and forced to be what someone else wanted me to be because I was different from the other people going there. And like all the old ladies would gossip about each other like even my grandma who used to take me there would gossip about the other ladies. So I was just kind of done with it and mind you I was in like 5th or 6th grade can’t remember exactly so it wasn’t really new to me having people gossip about each other all the time but in a place where I was told that people don’t gossip I was surprised. So yeah I learned to have huge crushes on females, males, and everybody in between. Just by looking back at the past like this is more recently because of lockdown and stuff but like I had a huge crush on like half the kids I knew at that time at one point or another. And just looking back it’s so obvious like one of the kids that went to the church was a girl and I was just like damn she’s attractive. But I didn’t understand that I found her super attractive but like she was a secret girlfriend that went to the church and if the church found out they would shove shit about being straight is the best policy and you shouldn’t love females down your throat. So yeah another thing that happened in my oh so abusive childhood.
Organized religion is and always will be a cult of zealots who have an irrepressible need to feel accepted into a society where they otherwise would never feel accepted, except money is always at the forefront of every “society”. Religion and spirituality should be a personal endeavor, rather than sharing it in a corporate setting. Believe it or not, tithes and offerings are a recent invention which has now spiraled out of control with many pastors being indicted for embezzlement and fraud of many descriptions. Church is a spiritual facade that’s made to prey on the weak-minded. At the end of the day, it’s a business just like any other. Church is a joke.
I am one of the ones you hate. I am a church goer. In fact worse than that, I am a pastor (and by the way i am a woman.) It breaks my heart to read your words. I am sorry you have felt confused hurt, bored by the church and the people in the church. To me the church is not boring, i love the church. I love God. I love what I am doing and I assure you I am not getting rich by being a pastor. In fact many preachers I know are working second jobs to make ends meet, some I know are on food stamps.because their salary is so low. I preach because I want to encourage you and help equip you to live in a world that is exactly as you have described in these posts, a world that is broken, hurts, confuses, misleads and can be boring. Believe me as a pastor I have been hurt by some of the people in the church too and I don’t always like the service or music. But, I have found the majority of the people are sincere, sometimes misguided, but are good people who do many of the things you have mentioned, fed the homeless, needy, helped the neighbor. ..
Let;s cut to the chase, Life is hard. No matter where I go there are people I don’t like, don’t appreciate, disagree with, but that doesn’t stop me from going to the grocery store. I guess I would ask you to be more open to looking at church and the people in church. And, I hate to point this out but many of things you say you hate about church…well are the exact things you are doing. Harshly judging without knowing people, talking about them, citifying what they believe, saying they aren’t open to others, staring at them like something is wrong with them. Perhaps if we could all step back look at the world with eyes of grace and love and less judgement we would find we would all be happier and find strength and encourage in really getting to know and appreciate one another.
Remember what happened to Kirk Cameron, 80s child actor? He became a fundamentalist evangelical at 17 or whatever. The ignorant mind, fixed to conceptualized certainty.
I’m writing about the letter I hate church, If I wrote everything about my church experiences it would be a book for sure! I walked into a church at 17 off the street and have been to a few different churches over the years for different reasons from moving to being insulated by the Pastors wife! I feel like I have been through so much and I have problems going in any church today! And may not go again! I love God, but what has happened to the church and does Jesus like it or not! To me it’s is a business and the Pastors have learned how to preach but where is the love for others, the pastors don’t know what serving is as they wait to be served as some fight among themselves to be the one, and so when do they leave the 99 and go after the lost! Well I know I’m going to Heaven but I’m probably not going to church with caring people that don’t really talk to new comers besides saying hi and then go over to talk to there old friends about there plans after church is over, so they think that are friendly and they really are among themselves! Listen I have been through the Bible and have not seen much humility in the church so far! I often wonder how many Angels sit in church and are never noticed by one church goer! Or are the Angels out on the streets and in homes with people that are in need and are suffering!
Wow, I think the letter is spot on. I recently left the church for some of the same hypocritical behaviors. Maybe it’s a matter of maturity’?
Actually I’m relieved to know that others have had similar disparaging church going experiences. I’ve been a believer for most of my adult life. It’s hard to be a decent Christian disciple, as an individual and in tandem with the local Body. It helps to know you’re not alone. The Bible promises that if we “trust Him w/all our heart, and lean not on our understanding, acknowledge Him, He will direct all our paths” (prov 3:5-6). That’s a promise. So, when a Body doesn’t receive you, “shake off the dust”. I pray for all of us to have daily grace to keep going.
Strength & Grace,
Jill
I literally cannot set foot in a church and don’t see myself doing it ever again. The sanctimonious hypocrites disgust me. I cannot listen to males telling females who have abortions that they are sinners and going to hell with no reference to the men who impregnated them and are leaving them high and dry. I cannot listen to them say we are pro-life when it only means they want to demand women have the babies with no help and no support because they want to end welfare and medicare. Childcare is off the table so basically the only jobs open to these women is working in a field at way below minimum wage while carrying their babies in slings. Sound familiar to anyone???? The male only leaders in my church have setup a subversive, disgusting underground that allows them to systematically abuse children. They then say they were seduced by the child. The all think they are going to sit on a high seat in Heaven when they systematically refuse to help those in need. They sued to the Supreme Court to open during the pandemic and we have now hit one million deaths. Will they be held accountable for those lives? Are they held accountable for the babies shot at point blank range in a church, or they killing of a classroom full of six year old by an automatic weapon that they refuse to ban? Will they be held accountable for all the souls they are sending away because they are so un=Christlike? It is supposed to be about love and compassion, but it about fear and manipulation because that is economical. It is a false God, but it is quick and easy.. Christians will not wear masks or stay away from each other to protect our most vulnerable because both extreme sides benefit if many of those people die. You all think Jesus is going to pat you on the backs but where in the bible is there ever a reference that he took someone’s ability to sin away verses teaching them, healing them and encouraging them to sin no more? I can no loner listen to white, male mysoginists who are only concerned about their own power and control over others. You sicken me. All of you.
So I’m normally forced to go to church like forced. I can say I’m not going I can say I refuse but I either get dragged or get slapped till I go. That’s how I grew up being forced to go to church and now it’s tough for me to break this cycle now so I still go with a giant hatred going there as I don’t get options inside they’ve been trying to force me to help them with their job knowing farewell I’m not doing well myself so I’m in no place to help children. I don’t get what I say I’m forced to go read things for people while inside so I grew to hate church the moment I act annoyed or something happens I get a giant lecture so now I absolutely hate church but for me to stop going I have to wait another 4 painful years of my life to contain at least one of my troubles. Hope you can come to understand why I hate it. As well as the fact people act like I’m ungrateful for being in there with a tired face since ( I get 6 hours of sleep pretty much every day and have to deal with 4 classes then watching a child till 8 then I’m forced to go to church so I’m tired). They also talk about me and things I could do better but don’t how i don’t seem to put effort into pretty much gossiping about me when I’m there and giving me stares I find it annoying and uncomfortable.
By your friendly neighborhood forced to go to a church person 🤞
I also hate going to church. Let me start with the petty stuff and finish on the big stuff. First off, the music is HORRIBLE. In some churches, it’s old-school church organ horrible, in others, it’s modern-day electric guitar and drums horrible. Here are the lyrics to every single church song ever written: “Oh God you are so great you can do anything and you change my life and I love you…” (or similar), and then a chorus like “He raises me up, he makes me whole, Jee-susss!” And then, for good measure, you have to sing that last chorus/refrain like 15 times before the song finally, mercifully, ends. Have Christian songwriters never heard of metaphors? One of Prince’s all-time rockingest songs, “Let’s Go Crazy”, is about finding religion. The words “God”, “Jesus”, “Christ” and “Love” appear nowhere in the song but the message in the lyrics is unmistakable. Be creative, guys, and don’t beat me over the head with your message. Trust that I can suss it out from your clever words. I’m depressed and disheartened, not stupid.
And there are always two or three people, usually in the front row, who are acting so utterly overcome with sheer joy and bliss, that you think that any moment they’re either going to be swept up in the rapture or possibly have a massive orgasm. My suspicion is that its all just an act to show “Look how much *I* love Jesus, and how much He love *ME*! I’m a Super-Christian! Everyone pay attention to me!” And that’s obviously a bad thing.
But if I’m wrong, and those people are genuinely having that intense emotional/spiritual experience as God fills them with his spirit, then what does it say that I’m sitting 4 rows behind them and can’t stop glancing at my watch wondering when this shindig is going to wrap up? The only thing I’m feeling is mildly hungry and I’m starting to need to visit the restroom. Clearly, God’s not aiming his high-pressure spiritual love firehose in my direction. I’m just bored.
Next gripe: the whole ritual of shaking hands with everyone around where you’re sitting and saying “Peace be with you”, and acting like we’re all close friends. We’re not. It’s a shallow, hollow gesture and we all know it. Over the course of a few services, we might get to know each other on a superficial level “Hey Agnes, how’s your granddaughter doing?” But again, it’s superficial at best.
But the big one is this. While I actually find the sermons interesting, I always have a different takeaway from them than everyone else in the church. “The moral of this sermon is that God put (name) through all of these hardships, but then at the end, he rewarded him with all of these amazing things!” I’ll bet that in 60 seconds, you can think of a dozen people you know who God put through terrible hardships, and then…the people just died. No payoff. No “and this is why all of that hardship mattered” moment. Just “Bill was lonely and struggled with health problems for three decades, and then he died.” Don’t assume that just because God rewarded (name), he’ll do the same for you.
It’s not that the other churchgoers make me feel like an outcast. it’s that everything about going to church makes me feel like an outcast, and someone that God has specifically left off of the guest list for the afterparty.
Bring this up with a Christian and the answer is ALWAYS “It’s your fault for not praying hard enough and believing hard enough and trying hard enough and being Christian enough.” Walk a mile in my moccasins, fellow Christian, before you accuse me of just not loving/trusting/obeying God enough. Trust me, I’m trying my best.