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God is not fair

I remember when I was a kid, I will would repeat these words whenever I felt I was wronged by another person, “that’s not fair!”.   Truth is… it probably wasn’t fair but my parents taught me early on that life wasn’t fair.  Soon those same words will be ringing through the halls of our household and I will be handing out the same lessons.

I have had this lesson proven to me in a miriad of ways over the years.  Without boring you with the details of a sad story about how I was done wrong at some point in my life (I mean we all have those stories), just take my word for it,  I have lived most of life knowing that life wasn’t fair and it never would be.

It didn’t make much sense to me as a kid, but as I have grown older, and hopefully a little bit wiser, I have come to appreciate the simple truth that Life is not fair.

Fairness has sadly become the battle cry of our society.  When something isn’t fair, it is viewed as inherently wrong or even evil.  We have gone from a culture and society here in the United States which was built on the idea of equal opportunity and “evolved” into a culture that expects an equal outcome.  What we fail to understand is that those ideas are mutually exclusive.  Kids do not fail, everyone gets a trophy, and I have even heard that people bring presents to a birthday party for the other kids in the family because they don’t want them to feel left out.  We live in a culture that demands fairness at all times and in all respects and it’s just out of control.

The problem is – fairness is NOT a biblical concept… let me say that again, Fairness is not a biblical concept.  The God we serve is a God of justice, but nowhere in the Bible does it indicate that he is “fair.”  Indeed, the idea of fair is a very human concept, the Bible never attributes the idea of fairness to God.

Let me explain…

Jesus didn’t carry any swords or spears, he didn’t have an army behind him. His only weapon was his mouth, and it was His message that got him into trouble.  His message was seen not merely as wrong, it was (and is still is) dangerous, even subversive.   It threatened to upset the social world of Judaism.  What kind of message could make the religious people so angry that they would kill the messenger? One idea that could anger the religious leaders is found in Matthew 9:13:  “I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners.” Jesus had a message of good news for sinners, but people who considered themselves good often thought that Jesus preached bad news.

Jesus invited prostitutes and tax collectors into the kingdom of God, and the good people didn’t like that. “That’s not fair,” they may have said. “We have been working hard to be good, and why can they get into the kingdom without working hard? If you don’t keep sinners out, it isn’t fair!”

Jesus was preaching that God is not fair. Most people think that fairness requires equal treatment for everyone, but when it comes to salvation, God simply isn’t fair. Even today, people don’t like to hear that idea.   Good Christian people want God to be fair—but He isn’t.  God is just…not fair.  By definition this means that God is reasonable, faithful, proper, righteous, deserving and lawful.  This shows us that God is in fact “Just” which is so much better than fair.  His grace is far beyond anything we could deserve.  God is generous, full of grace, full of mercy, loving us even though we don’t deserve it.

Let’s be honest this kind of message bothers religious leaders and people who like to say that the harder you work, the more you will get; if you behave better, you will get a better reward.  Is that you?  Many religious leaders like to have that kind of message, because it makes it easy to motivate people to work hard, to do right, to live right.

But Jesus says, It isn’t so.

If you have dug a really deep pit for yourself, if you have messed up time and time again, if you have been the worst sort of sinner, you don’t have to work your way out of the pit to be given salvation.  God simply forgives you for the sake of Jesus.  You don’t have to deserve it—God simply does it.  You just need to believe it.  You just need to trust God, to take Him at his word:  Your sin is removed from the record.  It seems that some people are distressed at this kind of news. “Look, I’ve been working hard to get out of the pit,” they might say, “and I am almost out. You mean to tell me that ‘those’ people are pulled out of the pit instantly, without having to do any work at all?  That’s not fair!”

No,  grace is not “fair”—it is grace—it is a gift we did not deserve.  God can be generous to whomever he wants to be generous to, and the good news is that he offers his generosity to everyone.  It is fair in the sense that it extends to everyone, even though this means that he forgives some people a big debt, and some people a smaller debt—the same arrangement for all even though there are different circumstances.

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in the church or how many sacrifices you have made; those are nothing in comparison to what God is giving us.  The Apostle Paul worked harder than any of us; he made more sacrifices for the gospel than we realize, but he counted it all as a loss for Christ.  It was nothing.

Honestly, we really do not want what is fair, because fair for us is hell (yes, I said it, I’m one of those people). We do not deserve the gift of grace that God gives us. If God were merely “fair” we would all have to pay for our sin.   That payment for our sin would eternal separation from God.  I believe that it would mean an eternity in Hell for everyone but Jesus Christ graciously paid the debt of our sin by His death on the cross, and subsequent resurrection.  Through this we have the hope of an eternity in Heaven with Him.  It is a free gift and nothing you  can do will make you worthy of God’s grace.

So is God fair?  No, He is not fair… He’s “just” and I am so thankful that He is.  What about you?

You have to live for something…

July 4, 2011

He we are the newbies on the parade scene, not prepared for anything.  At 10am it was already hot enough to feel like the entrance to Hell and it just kept getting hotter. We rookies are parked almost a mile from the parade route and we’re walking.  We have no sunscreen, umbrella, water, chairs to sit on, or cash to buy any of these items, and apparently no common sense.  As we walked towards the parade route we realized how unprepared we were and that neither my wife or I could remember the last time we just watched a parade and not participated.  Honestly, as a former Boy Scout who had the motto “Always be prepared” driven into him from the beginning I was frankly shamed (but I digress).  After walking a mile and finally finding an open spot on the street (with absolutely no shade for our baby and toddler) we settled in and we were in for a surprise.

The parade began…

tractors, horse drawn carriages, Antique cars and trucks, local Dance studios, Girls scouts and Boy scouts (who pelted us with candy), political representatives, Renaissance Festival people and surprisingly churches (and other religious organizations).  The one that left the deepest impression were the Shriners (pictured above).  Despite the silliness of a grown man riding in a miniature car in a parade the  Shriners actually do a lot of good things.

My daughter was standing right in front of me as they approached performing power slides and figure 8’s, a mesmerizing sight for any child.  My wife looked out on the road as they went by and casually said something very profound,

“I guess you have to live for something.”

You see I run into people all of the time who look at Christians and Christianity and simply say “this doesn’t pass the smell test”.  I said this when I was 8 years old.  Our focus is somewhere else.  Most of the people that I see or hear about attending a [Christian] church of any stripe I see them striving to be a good person.  Listen, Jesus said that we will be known for our love for each other not for being a good person!  Actually, being a good person is not a sign of love and in most cases is a sign of self fulfillment as a person strives to manipulate others for their or ultimate outcome.I’m not saying that what you are focused on is necessarily bad, but I am saying that it takes you and I away from what is suppossed to be the first thing in our lives.  Jesus said:

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:35

The love that Jesus is referring to is not casual butterflies toward Him or that special hymn or K-Love song you sings to Him as your boyfriend, but the experiential reality coming to Jesus is desirable above all things.  You see to love Jesus from the Bible’s perspective means we experience Jesus as precious and perfectly satisfying in our lives.  You see if you are viewing Jesus through the Gospel filter you will treasure Him for who He is, and for what He has done and is doing.  That same love, once focused on Jesus, then made to permeate our community and be reflected into the world around us.

In light of this I have a few questions (surprise):

  • Does your faith pass the smell test?
  • If I asked those who truly know you what would they say that you are living for?
  • Is Jesus is desirable above all things in your life?

“I guess you have to live for something.”

We Don’t Need More Christians…..

We don’t need more Christians who are trying to be radical.

We don’t need more Christians who are trying to stand out.

We don’t need more Christians who are trying to be celebrities.

We don’t need more Christians who treat other Christians like celebrities.

We don’t need more Christians who don’t listen.

We don’t need more Christians who look down others.

We don’t need more Christians who think they’ve arrived.

We don’t need more Christians who fight about things that don’t matter.

We don’t need more Christians who exclude.

We don’t need more Christians who intrude.

We don’t need more Christians who make promises they can’t keep.

We don’t need more Christians who turn a blind eye.

We don’t need more Christians who are better at politics than community.

We don’t need more Christians who pretend.

We need more Christians who look like Jesus.

———

The days are short. The fight is hard. The journey is worth our lives.

HT: Catalyst Space (read the rest of the post)

What do you think?

I’d Love To Speak At Your Next Event!

 

WFCOP Pic - speaking at Westside (OP campus). They are not responsible for the content of this blog.


Dear Reader,

I’m truly blessed by all of you who read the Neo Soul Faith blog on a regular basis, thank you.  Some of you have been walking this journey with my family and I for a couple of years now, and others perhaps for weeks or months.  Whatever the connection may be, I truly appreciate you allowing me to enter into your weekly conversations on faith and other issues.

Obviously, I’m becoming more passionate about writing with every post but there is something else that I have always been passionate about as well… Speaking.  Actually, writing is a fairly new expression of how I communicate the Scriptures, Theology, and [just] my thoughts with people.  Long before I was writing Neo Soul Faith blog, I was preaching to College-aged, Young Professionals, and adult congregations.  I absolutely love it!  Speaking to groups is one of the things I know and believe I was designed for, and as the school year prepares to begin, I would be honored to speak at your next event.

I’m glad to speak in various settings such as:

  • Church gatherings
  • Conferences
  • Retreats
  • University chapels
  • Camps
  • Lectures
  • and various other Christian events.

Communicating the radical message of the Gospel is something that gives me energy and I’d love to be able to share that with you.  This also may be a wonderful opportunity for me to connect with you or give you a week off from leading your ministry.

So, if you are interested you can email me directly at: joncolinnelson (at) gmail (dot) com.

And if you are not in charge of the particular event in mind, please feel free to pass my information along to the appropriate person.

Thanks again for reading and I hope to meet you through some speaking engagements!

Jon

9+1 Myths about Sex and Relationships

As the weekend approaches I know that some that read this blog may be tempted to make some rather irrational (or rational by today’s standards) choices when it comes to sex and their relationships with the significant other.  Social researchers Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker expose nine myths about sex and relationships among emerging adults in America (ages 18–23) and I wanted to add one more (not that I’m half as smart as them) to the end.

Myth: Long-term exclusivity is a fiction

  • Truth: Half of all marriages last a lifetime, and extramarital affairs are not as common as assumed.

Myth: The introduction of sex is necessary in order to sustain a fledgling or struggling relationship

  • Truth: The quicker sex enters a relationship, the sooner the relationships fails, and most relationships fail.

Myth: Boys will be boys. That is, men can’t be expected to abide by the sexual terms that women may wish to set. You may not want the double-standard to be there, but it’s there

  • Truth: Women may enjoy sex as much as men, but they do not think and feel the same way about it. Generally they “set higher standards for their relationships.”

Myth: It doesn’t matter what other people do sexually; you make your own decisions

  • Truth: The actions and attitudes of others do affect your decisions: “If a critical mass of men and women enjoy an extended series of sexual relationships and expect sex fairly promptly within them, it becomes quite difficult for a minority to do otherwise.”

Myth: Porn won’t affect your relationships

  • Truth: Because more and more men are viewing porn regularly it “cannot but shape sexual market dynamics.” And studies have shown that the tandem of porn and masturbation actually “reduces the value of intercourse” because it is much more physiologically satisfying than masturbation alone. “Porn becomes easier, and so must women (on average).”

Myth: Everyone else is having more sex than you are

  • Truth: You are less conservative than you think. “Most still overestimate how much sex is actually going on around them.” The authors write about this phenomena of pluralistic ignorance, “it happens when individuals within a group begin to believe that their own private attitudes, beliefs, or judgments are more conservative and rare than the public norms they see displayed by others.”

Myth: Sex need not mean anything

  • Truth: This myth can occur broadly between the sexes, but exists especially among women. It is emotionally challenging for women to engage in casual sex and to experience a broken sexual relationship.

Myth: Marriage can always wait

  • Truth: Most emerging adults still want to get married—eventually. They put off marriage for years and years and thus the marriage market “does not grow deeper and more impressive with age.” Thus, the authors encourage “men and women who’ve met someone who is ‘marriage material’ to think twice before rejecting the notion that they’re just not ready yet.”

Myth: Moving in together is definitely a step toward marriage

  • Truth: In most cases, cohabitation does not last. “It overwhelmingly leads to either marriage or breakup within a few short years.” It is also more advantageous to men than to women as it gives them “more stable access to sex, without the expectations or commitments of marital responsibilities.”
The above were taken from a book entitles Premarital Sex: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, And Think About Marrying.
I would like to add one more myth from my personal experience and from pastoral work:

Myth: Sex is just [a] physical activity

  • Truth:  I do not and will not act as if I fully understand this but I do know that this is true.  Your sexuality is connected to your soul and person-hood in a more powerful way than I can comprehend.  Don’t believe me we here are some rather awkward questions (that I do not have the full answer for) for you to ponder.
    • Why is it when a child is sexually abused and becomes a adult and then connects to the their past they can’t just “shake it off”?
    •  Why is it that rape is so much more devastating to a woman than just being beat up?
    • Why is it that men with the deepest sexual issues (most of the time) have uninvolved or distant fathers?
    • Why is it that [most] men and women with sexual addictions when trying to overcome said addiction run into a “Family of Origin” issue?
    • Why is it that most peoples greatest regret is sexual?

Again, I don’t claim to have a complete answer to any of these questions but I can say this with cofidence, Sex is NOT just a physical act!

Do I want Jesus OR a Genie in a bottle?

Recently,  I was heading out the door to go and meet with a friend of mine or coffee. As I was getting ready to leave the house my daughter came running up to me, hugged my neck, looked up at me and smiled & said, “Daddy!”

So…what did I do?  I did what ANY dad would have done at that point…I stopped in my tracks, picked her up and gave her a big hug!  It felt so wonderful to receive attention from my child and I REALLY was enjoying that moment…

Until…

She looked at my sunglasses on my face & said, “ooooooh” and reached for it.

Let me explain…

A few days earlier we had been shopping when i bought them and she was enamored with them them.  Additionally she had been wearing them around the house and playing with them (even after i asked her to stop) all morning long.  She walked around the house with it…and even tried to put it on her head, like daddy.  When it was time to leave I took it from her and told her I had to go and that is when she ran after me and began to give me attention.

You see her attention and affection was not because she wanted to be close to me but because of what I had that she wanted.  As I sat there thinking about this for a second God spoke to my heart and said, “This is the way you treat the Gospel many times!”

I am so guilty of times in my past where I prayed like crazy, raised my hands in worship, made HUGE promises and so on but NOT because I was in awe of who He is, but rather I wanted something from Him and falsly assumed that if I did the right things and gave Him enough attention that He would finally break and fulfill my selfish desires.  THAT IS RELIGION!  THAT IS REPUGNANT!

God knows my heart!  He knows my mind!  He knows my motives and He will not be tricked or deceived by empty worship.

One of the things I’ve been continually praying over the past year or so is for Jesus to continually make my motives pure and if there is ANYTHING in me that is not of Him to help me see it and get it out of my life.  It’s not the easiest process to go through but it’s been incredibly liberating!

At the end of the day I am praying that I will not want what I think Jesus can give me…but simply just want Jesus!  It’s a battle and I think there will always be a struggle to try and manipulate Him but it simply cannot be done.

So how about you?  Are you pursuing Jesus, OR are you just after you believe He can give you?  Just something to think about today!  I wish I were an expert on this, but I am struggling just like most of you are.  However, in His grace, mercy and patience He is blowing my mind as I work through this.  I hope you will work through this as well!

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Jefferson City, MO 65109
(573) 635-4832

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