Does time [really] heal all wounds?

God saved me almost 10 years ago now and through that time many things have shaped my walk with Him. One of these things is periodically writing a letter or note to someone from my past letting them know who I am now, an apology for past actions and sometimes seeking forgiveness. Most of you did not know me in that time in my life but I wronged many people, especially women, as I lashed out against God and His people. Over and over as I write these notes I keep wondering whether I will receive a response and when I do they are usually surprising.

One of the times I received a response it caused a multitude of emotions. First, surprise then astonishment, and finally, anger/ frustration. Within the letter were many supportive and encouraging things, also (as usual) a skating of the issue at hand. This time the statement they said that threw me off was “Time heals all wounds, right?”. Honestly, it was the final straw the myriad of [Christian] cliches that I have encountered. These cliches are structured to give a quick answer to “help” the situation without truly addressing it.

Time heals all wounds? This phrase couldn’t be further from the truth. What if you haven’t actually forgiven the person or sought forgiveness. Another phrase that runs congruent to this one is “Forgive and forget”. The idea was first recorded by a 4 century BC Greek writer named Menander and it really has not changed since that time. The problem is that in reality, the human brain does not have the capacity to forget.

What if you were raped?
Molested?
Abused?
Cheated on?
You fill in the blank ________________________

Forgiveness is a decision of the will. Since God commands us to forgive, we must make a conscious choice to forgive. Therefor we are to [actively] forgive. This means that we forgive much like our Father in heaven who forgive us perpetually. Christ death on the cross was not just efficient for the current sins but sufficient for us all for all time. We are not God or even a god and to suggest that time or forgetting the wrong is a catalyst for healing is silly. In one sense, it is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us because we cannot selectively “delete” events from our memory. We have these ideas in our society to help each other out and give solace. Yet these sayings create more pain that relief. Bury a hurt, a pain, a wrong, use time to hopefully heal or forget the wrong and it will fester and come back much worse than you can ever imagine. Don’t believe me? Ask any psychologist, or psychiatrist and they will tell you how our society is withering under the weight of our choice to believe these lies. I love you each but this is not the way to extend Christ likeness to each other, there is a better way.

**Over the next few weeks I would love to address other Christian cliches, if there are some that you’ve wondered about please let me know in the comments below and I will try to address them in the upcoming weeks.**

Some encouragement to start your week

Why do we sleep through church where we worship the God of the universe but we can stay awake for a 3 hour movie?
Why is it hard to pray when the God of the universe said He will listen but find it easy to curse, gossip, or slander others?
Why do many 0f us never pick up the Bible but can discuss the latest Non-fiction or fiction book on the market in depth?
Why are we able to worship celebrities, sports, families, and every other idol in our lives but not God?
Why are we able to post all types of ridiculous things on our social network sites but can’t post scripture or honor God in our words and action in the public square?

“Do you believe that what you believe is really real? Because if you really believe that what you believe is real, then Christians will change the world.”

– Dr. Del Tackett, the Truth Project

I know that there are many more questions that I could have asked but I just wanted to ask some questions to hopefully change the trajectory for your week. These questions are just scraping the surface of our idols but I hope that begin to open our eyes to the difference between what we say and do.

Isn’t it our fault? Why religion is silly (part 4)…

If you have neverheard of the show Tosh.0 itis an American television series hosted by comedian Daniel Tosh, who provides commentary on online video clips, society, celebrities, and other parts of popular culture and stereotypes. Between his show and his standup Daniel Tosh is known for not only crossing almost every line he approaches but offending any and everyone that listens or watches his show. To be complete honest I have watched and laughed at his comedy and I have also been deeply offended by it too. Recetnly, Tosh drew widespread criticism across the Internet after an account of his standup show made its way into the blogosphere. In a post, a person purporting to be a friend of someone who attended the show said Tosh made,

“some very generalizing, declarative statements about rape jokes always being funny, how can a rape joke not be funny, rape is hilarious, etc.”

The blog post claims that the offended attendee yelled out,

“Actually, rape jokes are never funny!”

After which, the friend said, Tosh asked the crowd,

“Wouldn’t it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her.”

The audience member was said to be

“completely stunned” by Tosh’s words and to have “high-tailed it out of there.”

Soon after, Tosh tweeted this apology:

Here’s my issue with this whole situation, isn’t this all our fault? Have we not created a culture that which comedy like this and jokes about what happened in Aurora, CO are okay? Here is what I mean. Anymore I am not surprised at the trajectory of our culture in general. The culture that we live in is a direct reflection of our own minds and lives. Though I do not condone what either Daniel Tosh or Dane Cook have said lately I do understand that their comments we a reflection of what we worship. The Bible say,

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your .spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
– Romans 12:1-2 (ESV)

In our society we seemed determined to worship everything but God [Himself] and then we are aghast when someone attacks our idols or when our idols turn and attack us. Do you remember the show “When animals attack”? When it’s on I find it near impossible not to stop and watch it for many reasons.

I always wonder why the person filming it is not helping the person(s) being attacked.
Why were they that close to the animal?
Many times the extent of human stupidity is hilarious

What I’ve noticed in each one is that we humans have the audacity to think we can tame a lion, tiger, bear (oh my!) and are surprised when they turn and act as they were designed. Doesn’t that sound silly? As comedian ChrisRock once said,

That tiger [didn’t] go crazy; that tiger went tiger!
Talking about circus tiger that attacked Roy Horn of Siegfried & Roy

We shouldn’t be surprised when something acts as it was created to act, and that goes for our celebrities also.
These are just my thoughts. What are yours? Please vote or comment below.

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In Defense of Eating at Chick-fil-A

If you have missed the firestorm that Chic-fil-A has found itself in after the comments of her President Dan Cathy let me get you caught up. Cathy’s remarks last week to a Baptist Press site, which he affirmed the company’s belief in “the biblical definition of the family unit,” went viral Wednesday. He said, “”We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles”. Supporters and opponents of gay unions immediately weighed in and did so heavily. From Twitter campaigns, petitions to Boston Mayor Thomas Menino telling the Boston Herald he would work to block Chick-fil-A from opening a restaurant in the city. “You can’t have a business in the city of Boston that discriminates against a population.” and this is where my interest peaked.

I am a Chic-fil-A fan. Not the food, in particular, but the service. I have worked in restaurants most of my life and they have a culture that I think many others should look to and follow when it comes to service. I honestly was bothered by the calls for boycotts and, death threats that went out against Dan Cathy. I mean I thought this was America, the place where we have freedom of speech or have I move somewhere else?

This weekend I was reading The Atlantic and came across an article from author and blogger Jonathan Merritt. I’m only going to give portions of it but he said in these few paragraphs what many were thinking.

Should they swear off the legendary chicken sandwiches to support gay rights? Or could they eat one of the filets anyway, knowing their dollars would be but a drop in the bucket for a chain that has more than $4 billion in annual sales and donated a pittance to groups they may disagree with?

I’d argue the latter — and this has nothing to do with my views on gay marriage. It’s because Chick-fil-A is a laudable organization on balance, and because I refuse to contribute to the ineffective boycott culture that’s springing up across America.

First of all, Chick-fil-A is not a hate group. In a statement released yesterday, company leaders made their commitment to equal service clear, “The Chick-fil-A culture and service tradition in our restaurants is to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect — regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender.”

As a native Atlantan, I’ve dined at the chicken chain more than I’d like to admit over more than two decades and even interacted with its leadership team. I’ve never witnessed any customer refused service or even treated differently. On the contrary, Chick-fil-A is known for offering world-class customer service to each person that walks through one of the restaurant’s doors.

Additionally, the organization gives millions of dollars each year to charitable causes — and not just to “pro-family” groups. It funds a large foster care program, several schools of a higher learning, and a children’s camp. It has provided thousands of scholarships for Chick-fil-A employees to attend college and grow past the service sector where they got their workplace start. (On Friday, the company provided free meals for Aurora, Colo., policemen.)

And the company’s leaders claim to do all of this out of convictions rooted in the Christian faith. Anyone who has even a cursory knowledge of the company should know that it does not hide its commitment to biblical values. Its corporate statement of purpose since 1982 has begun, “To glorify God…”

Given this, that anyone was surprised by Cathy’s statements is, well, surprising. Like many conservative Christians, he does not support gay marriage.

I’m flummoxed that so many consumers are so quick these days to call for boycotts of any company that deviates from their personal or political views. For one thing, boycotts rarely cause actual pocketbook – rather than PR — damage. Most consumers don’t care enough to drive an extra mile to get the same product from someone else. And that’s especially the case for companies as large as Chick-fil-A, which has prime locations on many college campuses where there is little head-to-head competition.

But my bigger question is this: In a nation that’s as divided as ours is, do we really want our commercial lives and our political lives to be so wholly intermeshed? And is this really the kind of culture we want to create? Culture war boycotts cut both ways and are much more likely to meet with success when prosecuted by large groups of people, such as Christian activists, who are more numerous than gays and lesbians and their more activist supporters.

Gay and lesbian groups were famously rankled when pro-family activists reacted against Kraft for posting a photo of an Oreo cookie with rainbow-hued filling last month in honor of Gay Pride Month, and also when similar groups protested JCPenney for announcing lesbian talk show host Ellen DeGeneres would be its next spokesperson.

So should the 45 percent of Americans who oppose gay marriage opt for Chips Ahoy! instead of Oreos? Should they begin shopping at Belk instead of JC Penny? If they did, it wouldn’t make any more sense than the endless failed calls for liberal consumers to boycott Urban Outfitters, because its owner is a conservative and Rick Santorum donor, or to not order from Domino’s Pizza, because it was founded by a Catholic conservative who helped fund anti-abortion causes.

Please read the rest of the article here The Atlantic and please let me know your thoughts on the subject.

Will you boycott Chic-fil-A or will you eat more chiken? Why?

Does Anybody Know?

I’m not going to dare add anything to this master piece, just watch and answer truthfully.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnB02zrhcXk]

6 questions for you

Over the years I have had the privilege of introducing many people to Christ. Little did I know what would happen after I introduced some people to Christ I would see and experience such varied reactions. Honestly, a few people have completely surprised me. One young man in particular experienced a spiritual renovation and his life has continually demonstrates transformation. His lifestyle was radically changed, his attitudes underwent a major overhaul and his values were revolutionized. For more than 5 years I have watched a continual process of transformation and he has become a brand new person.

On the other hand the majority of people I run across are on the other side of this equation which is a conundrum to every pastor. They have been around evangelical churches all their life and know all the right answers. They routinely goes through the so called Christian life, but after being a believer for most of there conscious life, they continue to be obnoxious in their behavior, excessively legalistic in their attitudes, incapable of relating well with more than a few close friends, an much more. Though they have a great deal of biblical information, there is virtually no demonstration of Christ-likeness in their personality.

It’s a puzzle to me that so many Christians plateau in their walk with God and that the process of being conformed into Christ’s image is aborted. It’s as if they say, “I’ve got this Christian life figured out now and I’m finished changing.”

Peter made it clear.

“… grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18).

There is to be a life-long process of practical spiritual transformation. Spiritual maturity is not a merit badge for accumulating biblical knowledge; it’s the daily application of that knowledge to life situations.

How can we know we’re growing? Here are six questions to ask yourself. Be honest as you work through these questions.

1. Do I have a greater hunger for God’s presence?
Has God become ho-hum to you? Do you take God for granted? Do you treat God casually? Have I lost the wonder of the Divine Majesty? Or is there an intense passion to know God more intimately? King David said,

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.” (Psalm 42:1)

A growing Christians should crave a greater sense of God’s presence.

2. Do I demonstrate love for people more than I did last year?
Too often I think that if I do not hate someone, I must love him. Christian love is not the absence of hate. Christian love is the opposite of indifference. Love is proactive. Love initiates. Biblically loving others means giving up personal convenience and preferences for the well-being of someone else. True love is sacrificial. People who genuinely love have short memories. Forgiveness comes quickly, whether it is asked for or not. There are no lingering grudges. Lovers demonstrate kindness.

What have you done in the last month that demonstrates Christ-like love?

3. Am I more intrigued with God’s Word?
While I was in school, I had a friend who knew he should read his Bible each day, but he had an interesting habit. Often at night when he knew he should be reading his Bible, he read Psalm 117, a psalm with just two verses. He must have read that psalm 50 times that year. But there was no fascination with what he was reading. There was no search to know what God was speaking into his daily experiences. He just soothed his conscience and did his religious duty.

What was the last great insight God revealed to you while reading the Bible? When was the last time you sensed God speaking directly to you?

As I study I am continually amazed at the power of God’s Word. God’s Word is unique, eternal, life-changing and powerful. It is continually new and fresh. Most of all, it is intensely personal, speaking directly to us. I am intrigued by what the Bible says and the topics it deals with. I am stretched to understand what it meant to its readers, but what it means today in our contemporary world. I am constantly challenged to understand how it applies to my personal experiences.

4. Are the disciplines of the Christian life more appealing to me?
Paul told Timothy,

“…train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:7-8)

Life change does not happen by chance. It requires our cooperation with the Holy Spirit. That cooperation involves the regular practice of spiritual disciplines – regular habits of meditation (yes, meditation), solitude, Bible reading, praying, fasting and contentment. Have these disciplines become a drudgery and duty? Or are they a source of delight to be anticipated? For people who are growing, spiritual disciplines are never routine; they are exciting discoveries. Spiritual disciplines are a key to spiritual transformation. What’s your attitude to these disciplines.

5 . Do I have an increasing concern about the eternal fate of spiritually lost people?
Here’s something that confuses me. Despite the biblical teaching about spiritual lostness, I’ve concluded that the longer most people have been believers, it seems the less they are concerned about lost people. People who are growing in Christ-likeness, become like Christ! Jesus said he came to seek and to save the lost. Growing believers are learning to seek and introduce lost people to the Savior.

6. Am I more conscious of heaven than the things of earth?
Modern thinking is a long way from the thinking of Paul. He wrote,

“I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.” (Philippians 1:22-24).

Not many believers today are torn between death and going on living, to be honest I really struggle with this one. In place of an increasing heaven-consciousness, we’ve become enamored with the comforts of materialism and affluence. We act as this life is the ultimate experience. We’re taken with the “here and now“ and have forgotten that the “then and there” is so much more wonderful. It is not that we become so heavenly minded that we become useless and ineffective in this life (I’m pretty sure that it’s been a long time, if ever, since I met someone too heavenly-minded). Rather, I regularly meet people who are so earthly-minded that they are of little value to the kingdom of heaven.

“A heavenly perspective gives us a Christ-life perspective on earth. Paul said, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”(Colossians 3:1-2).

As I begin to eat right and exercise each day, I don’t see any noticeable change in my health that day. But these disciplines each day will produce changes in my body that are noticeable over time. You’ll see the spiritual change after a period of time, just keep going.