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God will never give you more than you can handle?

**  This is part 2 or my series on Christian cliches.  They’re meant for good but end up doing more harm in the long run**

You hear it all the time, you see it written on Facebook status updates and tweeted printed on everything.  Honestly, this phrase is thrown around a lot, and I do mean a lot.  Many people use this line to try to encourage a friend or family member whenever times are tough.  While it’s absolutely essential that we do everything we can to build up and encourage people who are experiencing trials and adversity, we need to make sure that what we encourage them with is the truth.

This phrase sounds very positive and affirming, but you will not find “God won’t give you more than you can handle” anywhere within the pages of the Bible.  It simply doesn’t exist.

It actually comes from a common misquote 1 Corinthians 10:13, which says:

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

When applied properly this verse very affirming, but it does not say that God will not “give you more than you can handle.” It’s talking about temptation only – that we will not be tempted beyond what we can endure.

Over and over again in the Bible, we see men and women who are given far more than they can handle. The prophet Jeremiah is a great example; he was charged with preaching repentance to the people of Israel, a calling that caused him to be beaten, plotted against and rejected by everyone, even his own family. Emotionally, that was far more than he could handle (as we see in his many laments).

The Apostle Paul is probably one of the most powerful examples of this truth found in Scripture. Paul doesn’t tell us these things to boast in how he took all this suffering and adversity like a man—he does it so that we might know that God will always give us more than we can handle. He ”boasts of the things that show my weakness” because those things show his (and our) dependency on the power and mercy of God.

When you say that God will never give you more than you can handle, I pray you can see that the focus is on you and not Him.  God will break you so that you will learn to rely completely on Him.  So let’s please stop peddling this lie as it only serves to hurt more than help.

**Over the next few weeks I would love to address other Christian cliches, if there are some that you’ve wondered about please let me know in the comments below and I will try to address them in the upcoming weeks.**

Does time [really] heal all wounds?

imagesGod saved me almost 10 years ago now and through that time many things have shaped my walk with Him.  One of these things is periodically writing a letter or note to someone from my past letting them know who I am now, an apology for past actions and sometimes seeking forgiveness.  Most of you did not know me in that time in my life but I wronged many people, especially women, as I lashed out against God and His people.  Over and over as I write these notes I keep wondering whether I will receive a response and when I do they are usually surprising.

One of the times I received a  response it caused a multitude of emotions.  First, surprise then astonishment, and finally, anger/ frustration.  Within the letter were many supportive and encouraging things, also (as usual) a skating of the issue at hand.   This time the statement they said that threw me off  was “Time heals all wounds, right?”.  Honestly, it was the final straw the myriad of [Christian] cliches that I have encountered.  These cliches are structured to give a quick answer to “help” the situation without truly addressing it.

Time heals all wounds?  This phrase couldn’t be further from the truth.  What if you haven’t actually forgiven the person or sought forgiveness.  Another phrase that runs congruent to this one is “Forgive and forget”.  The idea was first recorded by a 4 century BC Greek writer named Menander and it really has not changed since that time.  The problem is that in reality, the human brain does not have the capacity to forget.

  • What if you were raped?
  • Molested?
  • Abused?
  • Cheated on?
  • You fill in the blank ________________________

Forgiveness is a decision of the will. Since God commands us to forgive, we must make a conscious choice to forgive. Therefor we are to [actively] forgive.  This means that we forgive much like our Father in heaven who forgive us perpetually.  Christ death on the cross was not just efficient for the current sins but sufficient for us all for all time.  We are not God or even a god and to suggest that time or forgetting the wrong is a catalyst for healing is silly.  In one sense, it is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us because we cannot selectively “delete” events from our memory. We have these ideas in our society to help each other out and give solace.  Yet these sayings create more pain that relief.  Bury a hurt, a pain, a wrong, use time to hopefully heal or forget the wrong and it will fester and come back much worse than you can ever imagine.  Don’t believe me?  Ask any psychologist, or psychiatrist and they will tell you how our society is withering under the weight of our choice to believe these lies.  I love you each but this is not the way to extend Christ likeness to each other, there is a better way.

**Over the next few weeks I would love to address other Christian cliches, if there are some that you’ve wondered about please let me know in the comments below and I will try to address them in the upcoming weeks.**

Preach the Gospel always, when necessary use words?

This quote, or some variation of it, is attributed to St. Francis of Assisi, is one of the many threats to evangelism today.  Now to be fair to St. Francis, there’s no evidence that he himself ever said this quote. It’s not in any of his writings and is a little pithy for someone of the Franciscan order.  Although it does bear some resemblance to a line in his 1221 Rule:

“Let all the brothers, however, preach by their deeds” – Chapter XVII.

Even if St. Francis didn’t exactly speak the above saying, it certainly is Franciscan in style and a wonderful sentiment. Actions often do speak louder than words. Quite often, the only Gospel any non-Christian is going to “read” is the life of a Christian they encounter on their way through life. A life lived in stark contrast to the standards of the world speaks much more loudly than any moralizing sermon.

On the other hand it plays to our fear of speaking about Jesus, and to our sense of weakness and insufficiency to the task. I can’t help but wonder how often we use this pithy saying as an excuse for our lack of efforts in evangelism. It’s all very well saying that we prefer to preach the Gospel with our actions, but what exactly are these actions of ours which are preaching the Gospel?  Do we regularly make a conscious effort in our actions to preach the Gospel?  How exactly does preaching the Gospel with our actions make us different than the Mormon, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, etc?  Are they not more consistently “better people”?
As you can see I believe this line of thinking and action is fundamentally flawed at so many levels.  Let me deal with few ways I see this. Let me say whether St. Francis said it, or whether it contains useful teaching isn’t my point. My concern is the way it is applied.

First, why do you need to tell me not to use words?
It is endemic of assumed evangelicalism that we forget that each of us how know about Jesus did once hear about him. People insist on preaching that we need no preaching, this is very like the postmodern wordsmiths who proclaim the meaningless of words – and yet expect their own words to be clearly understood! People complain about indoctrination, but indoctrinating just means teaching – and everyone gets taught, and everyone has doctrines.

Second, the Bible makes it clear that Words are always necessary.
The very existence of the Bible indicates God’s express intent to communicate with words. But more than that that it is by the speaking of the good news about Jesus that people will come to believe. In a society that still carries a little Christian-Culture we might forget our need to hear – but the fact remains that what we know is only known because we have been told. It is by God’s spoken word that we know anything definitive about people. The first thing God did was speak, and his people are told to speak too. Paul’s final word to Timothy (2 Tim 4:2) wasn’t do the washing up, it was ‘preach the word’.

Third, using Words is not an alternative to living the life
Those who prohibit use of words do so in favour of living distinctively. This is a false distinction. It is not an option as to either preach or live, both are required! A related issue is, what does a life look like that is changed by Jesus. My suspicion is that its more than just moral respectability – we are probably more compromised with our western culture than we dare to admit. Without words people will not guess that we are Christian- since they will not know what Christian is. With only words our faith will not carry half the impact – Christians should be at the forefront of making the most of life, living it the way it should be, in the arts, creativity, justice and joy… for the glory of the gospel of Christ. How that works in practice is something we need to wrestle with! If we follow the ‘great comission’ in Matthew 28 the result will be both preachers and teachers but also those who live in accordance with Jesus’ teaching. Live and speak.

Fourth, Jesus told us to preach, disciple and teach.
All of these things require speaking and using words. The word revealed message of Jesus has to be verbally explained. The apostles in Acts prove, persuade and convince people about Jesus, and while it takes God to open eyes we are still to present the case. We should use words with care and seriousness that reflects what we’re speaking about. Preaching is not an excuse for excessive confrontation or any rudeness in our explaining about Jesus. We should be clear and respectful, though we will inevitably cause some offense. (c.f. 2 Timothy 4:2, or Matthew 28:19-20)

Fifth, yes, the message is offensive and foolish.
Often we appeal to St. Francis’ words because we look at the messages of the world and think they are superior to ours… ultimately God gives us wisdom to confound the world’s wisdom, and wisdom which Jesus himself says will not be understood by lots of people. People are blind to Jesus message, blinded by sin and by satan. But when the gospel is spoken God re-creates and heals this blindness. 1 Corinthians 1:18 shows the folly of the gospel that generations have rejected because it didn’t suit their itching ears (c.f. 2 Timothy 4:4).

Sixth, even if preaching is illegal we must do it.
The first apostles were banned from speaking about Jesus, they could not comply with this kind of request. Preaching the gospel might mean we end up in prison – that is just part of the deal. (c.f. Acts 4:19-20).

The purpose of good deeds is not to enhance a verbal proclamation, the purpose of good deeds is to glorify God and love others.  That’s it. However, a potential benefit of good deeds is that people will ask questions and become receptive to a verbal explanation of the gospel.  Words are still necessary and this is an often missed, yet powerful point to the St. Francis of Assisi quote. “When necessary, use words” means that words are often necessary.

Imagine someone asking you a question, then you stare at them in silence. Who knows what they would interpret from your silence. For better or worse, words are required to explain concepts and provide answers.

Therefore, an appropriate distinction is between verbal proclamation (word) and social service (deed). Yet there is no inherent superiority or inferiority to either. They seamlessly integrate together to equal effective ministry. Good deeds prompt questions. This is why Peter instructed his readers to do good and then followed by saying, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have (1 Peter 3:15).” If we do good deeds then we need to be ready to say why we do them. The questions will come and if not, we have to ask ourselves what is wrong when no one asks questions to which the gospel is the answer.

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